Every bit of life I had infused into an article was just effectively sucked out of it by our editor.
Why am I even writing here? If everything I write is going to be 'edited' (read: rewritten), then why do I even bother writing it? Why not just hand my outline over to the editor and let her write it the way she wants it? It would certainly save a lot of time and effort.
A favourite phrase here is "don't reinvent the wheel" - if we've done something similar in the past, use it. However, even if I take text directly from a press release we've done before or from another document - it STILL gets edited!!
I can't win. Writing mindless, lifeless corporate vomit makes my brain turn to pudding. But writing something good - really *writing* - and having it ripped to pieces and transformed into something that would taste like cardboard is worse. It's not even a 'lesser of the evils' thing. No matter what I do, it gets changed to the point that it's unrecognizable as being created by Daphne.
If this isn't the right place for me, tell me: where should I be?
Now I'm off to a meeting with my editor to learn, three months too late, what they actually expect of us in the way of writing style, tips, and audience. Great idea. Let's let the newbies fumble through for three months writing what we consider crap, and THEN tell them what we want from them. That will give us a great opportunity to pick at them and grind them down into corporate drones before we finally give them some pointers. That's much more fun.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Daphne draws parallels between working and dating... and doesn't like the conclusions
I think insurance sucks my soul. The longer I work in this industry (and it really hasn't been that long) the less energy I have. I think my braincells are deteriorating, too.
I think the solution to this is doing more freelance work. I say "more" as though I do any right now at all, which I don't. At any rate, I emailed my old colleague asking for some tips on how to freelance, and she wrote back with about a million. She even offered to pass along any opportunites to me that she doesn't have time for herself.
Now, I just need to get motivated to do it. I think part of my problem is that I have a short attention span. I get excited about something, and then I"m just over it. It no longer piques my interest, and I move on to something else.
But maybe this is all just a result of ho freaking boring insurance is. Maybe if I was doing something that required a little more creativity, I'd be happier. I liked working so closely with the graphic designer and marketing team in my last job (not to imply that my last job didn't suck, because it did). I almost miss doing all of those HTML newsletters - simply because I had some input on how they turned out.
Maybe on the pendulum of communications jobs I've just moved from one extreme on the scale to another. I went from being the only person in my role, which meant I couldn't learn from anyone but had all the creative license in the world - to being one of many, where I can learn from many people, but have absolutely no say on what I'm doing.
I used to look at my dating record as a giant list in progress of what I don't want in life. Each failed relationship taught me something about myself, and about what I don't want in a mate. When a relationship ended, I simply added something else to my 'never again' list, and moved on. It was productive, and narrowed down the field to the perfect person for me - my husband. My strategy, while it may not have been the most direct route, worked.
Maybe I'm now applying the same strategy to my career. I know things I absolutely do not want in my career (I'm learning this every day) through my current and past positions. Eventually, after my "do not want" list is long enough, I will be magically pointed to the perfect opportunity. The most Daphne of all positions, where Daphne can be 100% Daphne and not be edited down to a lesser degree of Daphne-ness.
Great. I 'found' the man of my dreams (read: finally realized that he's the one for me) at 25 1/2 years old, and married him when I was 27. Prior to that, I had about 10 years of dating experience, all the while adding things to my list of least ideal mates.
Does it logically follow that I need 10 years of 'do not like' jobs before I narrow it down to the right one? And will the same be true that I already know the right job for me, but I just don't realize it yet?
I think the solution to this is doing more freelance work. I say "more" as though I do any right now at all, which I don't. At any rate, I emailed my old colleague asking for some tips on how to freelance, and she wrote back with about a million. She even offered to pass along any opportunites to me that she doesn't have time for herself.
Now, I just need to get motivated to do it. I think part of my problem is that I have a short attention span. I get excited about something, and then I"m just over it. It no longer piques my interest, and I move on to something else.
But maybe this is all just a result of ho freaking boring insurance is. Maybe if I was doing something that required a little more creativity, I'd be happier. I liked working so closely with the graphic designer and marketing team in my last job (not to imply that my last job didn't suck, because it did). I almost miss doing all of those HTML newsletters - simply because I had some input on how they turned out.
Maybe on the pendulum of communications jobs I've just moved from one extreme on the scale to another. I went from being the only person in my role, which meant I couldn't learn from anyone but had all the creative license in the world - to being one of many, where I can learn from many people, but have absolutely no say on what I'm doing.
I used to look at my dating record as a giant list in progress of what I don't want in life. Each failed relationship taught me something about myself, and about what I don't want in a mate. When a relationship ended, I simply added something else to my 'never again' list, and moved on. It was productive, and narrowed down the field to the perfect person for me - my husband. My strategy, while it may not have been the most direct route, worked.
Maybe I'm now applying the same strategy to my career. I know things I absolutely do not want in my career (I'm learning this every day) through my current and past positions. Eventually, after my "do not want" list is long enough, I will be magically pointed to the perfect opportunity. The most Daphne of all positions, where Daphne can be 100% Daphne and not be edited down to a lesser degree of Daphne-ness.
Great. I 'found' the man of my dreams (read: finally realized that he's the one for me) at 25 1/2 years old, and married him when I was 27. Prior to that, I had about 10 years of dating experience, all the while adding things to my list of least ideal mates.
Does it logically follow that I need 10 years of 'do not like' jobs before I narrow it down to the right one? And will the same be true that I already know the right job for me, but I just don't realize it yet?
Monday, July 23, 2007
Crystal Ball
I wonder if I'll ever have a job where I don't feel like goofing off all the time. Will I ever feel that committed? So committed that I don't just want to do the bare minimum. I've never had a job like that. I've always done what I had to in order to keep up appearances, but I've never really *cared* about what I'm doing.
I like my job - don't get me wrong. As far as jobs
go, this one is as good as any I've ever had - better, actually. Still, like with every other job, I'm always trying to find a way out of the stuff I don't want to do.
Will I ever have a job where I actually want to do everything - for a reason other than the paycheck or just to avoid getting fired?
I have often said to myself and others that my dream job is writing freelance - being my own boss. But when I really think about it, I bet I'd put off my own work just as much as I do here. Maybe working 3 days a week or something would be better for me. Maybe I'd feel more motivated to work.... ? Who knows.
Why do I put off writing assignments - when I am a self-professed writer? If it is truly "what I love to do" as I tell everyone it is, then why don't I jump at the chance to do it?
I'm going to make a prediction here:
By the time I'm 35, I bet I'll be looking for a new job, at least part time.
But what? The only thing I can actually see myself loving - without putting it off or trying to avoid it - is baking.
Maybe I really am meant to have my own bakery or cafe or something.
If so, all those years of schooling were certainly time and money well spent.
Back to work.
I like my job - don't get me wrong. As far as jobs
go, this one is as good as any I've ever had - better, actually. Still, like with every other job, I'm always trying to find a way out of the stuff I don't want to do.Will I ever have a job where I actually want to do everything - for a reason other than the paycheck or just to avoid getting fired?
I have often said to myself and others that my dream job is writing freelance - being my own boss. But when I really think about it, I bet I'd put off my own work just as much as I do here. Maybe working 3 days a week or something would be better for me. Maybe I'd feel more motivated to work.... ? Who knows.
Why do I put off writing assignments - when I am a self-professed writer? If it is truly "what I love to do" as I tell everyone it is, then why don't I jump at the chance to do it?
I'm going to make a prediction here:
By the time I'm 35, I bet I'll be looking for a new job, at least part time.
But what? The only thing I can actually see myself loving - without putting it off or trying to avoid it - is baking.
Maybe I really am meant to have my own bakery or cafe or something.
If so, all those years of schooling were certainly time and money well spent.
Back to work.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Cryptic + Ominous = exactly what you want in an email from your boss.
Daphne,
Further to our discussion around your performance review, it is incumbent upon me to remind you of the following: Like all new members of the team, it is important that you use your probationary period to learn about the complexities of the industry and its issues. While the department provides the sources of this information, it is your responsibility to acquire it and integrate this knowledge into a precise writing style. The organization's probationary period accommodates this learning curve and provides all new candidates with an opportunity to demonstrate this acquisition of knowledge and skill. Please heed this reminder as you near the six month mark of your employment.
Thanks,
Scary Boss
Further to our discussion around your performance review, it is incumbent upon me to remind you of the following: Like all new members of the team, it is important that you use your probationary period to learn about the complexities of the industry and its issues. While the department provides the sources of this information, it is your responsibility to acquire it and integrate this knowledge into a precise writing style. The organization's probationary period accommodates this learning curve and provides all new candidates with an opportunity to demonstrate this acquisition of knowledge and skill. Please heed this reminder as you near the six month mark of your employment.
Thanks,
Scary Boss
What the hell?? This is why my manager frightens me. We never actually had a discussion about my performance review, except for the table I made detailing my projects – and on that she only said good things. So, what the hell is this? "Please heed this reminder"?? Did she send this to all 4 of us, or does she have an issue specifically with me? And WHY?? I am beginning
to not like my job. I hate the constant questioning.
Monday, July 9, 2007
The Joys of Editing
I'm editing a really awful report for someone - it makes my brain hurt. I sent a sentence over to my colleague to let her in on the agony that is this document:
The time for the testing was a one hour period agreed upon before the testing actually occurred.
She replied:
Well written, my dear. Well written. Now, back to the brain-melting document.
The time for the testing was a one hour period agreed upon before the testing actually occurred.
She replied:
The time for the reading was five minutes which was not anticipated or agreed upon before the reading actually being read.
Well written, my dear. Well written. Now, back to the brain-melting document.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Get the Newbie
Having a bad day today.
Not sure I really want to write about it… but having a bad day.
I feel like the ‘newbies’ are being picked on – like all the managers got together and discussed all the issues they have with us (and there seem to be many) and decided to bring them up now – in quick succession.
I’m beginning to see the disadvantages of 4 of us being hired at the same time. On the one hand, we have ‘allies’ – we can ask each other for help before we have to ask a manager (thus, giving us a chance to look better) and we always have someone else to commiserate with or compare notes with.
On the other hand, I think it gives the managers more license to make sweeping statements to us as a group – they don’t have to see us about issues (even minor ones) individually, which might be more difficult for them. They don’t have to worry about ‘hurting our feelings’ when they talk to us as a unit. “there have been some issues with some people doing X – so you should all be conscious of it” instead of coming out and saying, “Daphne, I notice that you’ve been making this grammatical error.” While the managers probably feel like they’re doing us a favour by approaching things this way, it actually ends up doing more harm, I think. I’d rather know that I personally am doing something so I can fix it than know that there are issues among us about that thing.
Another problem: group think. I think I work better on my own – I’d try to please managers more, I think, if I didn’t have 3 other ppl on ‘my side’. I don’t know if that made sense. I guess we all have a greater feeling of empowerment/entitlement because there are 4 of us. We feel justified in bitching about little stupid things to eachother – which we should probably not do.
Not sure I really want to write about it… but having a bad day.
I feel like the ‘newbies’ are being picked on – like all the managers got together and discussed all the issues they have with us (and there seem to be many) and decided to bring them up now – in quick succession.
I’m beginning to see the disadvantages of 4 of us being hired at the same time. On the one hand, we have ‘allies’ – we can ask each other for help before we have to ask a manager (thus, giving us a chance to look better) and we always have someone else to commiserate with or compare notes with.
On the other hand, I think it gives the managers more license to make sweeping statements to us as a group – they don’t have to see us about issues (even minor ones) individually, which might be more difficult for them. They don’t have to worry about ‘hurting our feelings’ when they talk to us as a unit. “there have been some issues with some people doing X – so you should all be conscious of it” instead of coming out and saying, “Daphne, I notice that you’ve been making this grammatical error.” While the managers probably feel like they’re doing us a favour by approaching things this way, it actually ends up doing more harm, I think. I’d rather know that I personally am doing something so I can fix it than know that there are issues among us about that thing.
Another problem: group think. I think I work better on my own – I’d try to please managers more, I think, if I didn’t have 3 other ppl on ‘my side’. I don’t know if that made sense. I guess we all have a greater feeling of empowerment/entitlement because there are 4 of us. We feel justified in bitching about little stupid things to eachother – which we should probably not do.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
"Pushing the Limits" - Day 2
I'm working from home again today, but because of the weather this time, not just because I don't feel like going.
So I'm at home again, and only feeling slightly guilty about it. I wouldn't feel bad at all, if I hadn't spent most of yesterday's work day playing on Facebook, MSNing with an old old flame, watching daytime TV, and generally shirking work.
Hey look - I'm shirking again! Watch me shirk!
And tomorrow, I have have an interview/writing assessment dealie at 10:30 in the morning, so I'll be working from home again!
I'm so lucky that this week the 'big guys' at the company are in the UK at a conference, so my absence will only be noticed by my colleagues (and the majority of them are looking for other jobs anyway).
So, on today's list:
So I'm at home again, and only feeling slightly guilty about it. I wouldn't feel bad at all, if I hadn't spent most of yesterday's work day playing on Facebook, MSNing with an old old flame, watching daytime TV, and generally shirking work.
Hey look - I'm shirking again! Watch me shirk!
And tomorrow, I have have an interview/writing assessment dealie at 10:30 in the morning, so I'll be working from home again!
I'm so lucky that this week the 'big guys' at the company are in the UK at a conference, so my absence will only be noticed by my colleagues (and the majority of them are looking for other jobs anyway).
So, on today's list:
- sit on my couch (check!)
- eat a bagel with a banana cut up on it and a coffee (check!)
- keep my work email open just in case (check!)
- send a Valentine's e-card to my honey
- go out and buy a real Valentine's card for him
- make homemade waffles for dinner - with melted Toblerone and sliced straberries on it. Maybe I'll make it a full-fledged fondue. It's Valentine's day, we're allowed!
- do a bit of work - I have some files to upload to a new marketing DMS that's being launched at the conference on Friday, so I should probably get that all squared off today. After all, I am getting paid today.
And that ought to do it!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
'Working' from home
I'm working from home today, and by working I mean that I have my work email open and that's about it.
What I'm really doing is chatting on MSN with my very first boyfriend. Bizarre. I joined facebook a couple days ago, and there he is! So now we're catching up - he's engaged, and seems like he's finally got his shit together.
He just apologised for being an ass to me. I don't remember him being an ass, but apology accepted. Memory is a strange thing - I think I've glossed over a lot of that. I remember him fondly. I remember him playing guitar for me, and us sitting at this little park by his house. He was a nice guy in the 'tortured artist' kind of way. He was my first boyfriend, and my 'first'. We dated for 8 months, which felt like forever when I was 16/17.
Very, very weird.
What I'm really doing is chatting on MSN with my very first boyfriend. Bizarre. I joined facebook a couple days ago, and there he is! So now we're catching up - he's engaged, and seems like he's finally got his shit together.
He just apologised for being an ass to me. I don't remember him being an ass, but apology accepted. Memory is a strange thing - I think I've glossed over a lot of that. I remember him fondly. I remember him playing guitar for me, and us sitting at this little park by his house. He was a nice guy in the 'tortured artist' kind of way. He was my first boyfriend, and my 'first'. We dated for 8 months, which felt like forever when I was 16/17.
Very, very weird.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Faux Sick is way better than Real Sick
I got up this morning at 6:05, checked my work email, looked at the weather, and decided "fuck this". I emailed work saying I'm not feeling well, and then promptly went back to bed. I think if I didn't take a day off work soon, I'd go postal. I really REALLY hate my job these day, and I'm a really unpleasant person because of it. I needed a day off for everyone's sake.
So, I got up at 10:30, and now I'm watching CityLine, eating an omelette, drinking a coffee, and chilling in my jamies. There's nothing better. I'm calm, I'm content, and the likelihood of me throwing my computer out the window has been reduced sigificantly since yesterday.
Today is the day of Daphne. Here's how it's going to go.
On my list today:
- go shopping for underwear (new frillies always make me happy)
- go to H&M... and try not to spend too much
- get a coffee from starbucks
- Buy a bouquet of flowers for myself just because
- Buy the new Jann Arden CD
- Take some stuff down to storage - clutter makes me crazy
- Vaccuum - the house is horrid and it makes me angry
- Pick up some groceries, like lettuce and milk
- Bake some bran and pineapple muffins
And with any luck, the universe will flip upside down and a new job will fall on my lap, and I won't have to kill anyone at work tomorrow.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Back from the most ill-planned business trip of all time
Well, I'm back from Vegas, and I don't have any great insights I feel like posting. Well, I have tons I want posted, but I don't feel like actually posting them. It's a vicious cycle, I know.
One thing's certain: I don't like Vegas, just as I suspected I wouldn't. It's everything I dislike about the States, rolled into a big ball, multiplied by five hundred chinging slot machines and covered in sparkly neon lights, being rolled along by loud, crass, belching men in "I Heart Sin City" Tshirts next to their boob-jobbed, red tube top clad arm candy girlfriends. Blech - tacky.
My favourite part of my stay was sitting in my in-room hot tub for an hour reading a book late Tuesday night. I'm such a party animal :)
The multi-level marketing platform I went to check out makes me drool - gimme. Seriously. It would make my job uber fantastic. Now, we just have to convince the upper echilon at the company that it should be 'core' - meaning that they'd think it's imporant enough to actually SPEND MONEY on.
Daphne's prediction: Not gonna happen. They'll try to convince this company to give it to us for free because "they'd benefit from a partnership with us" - but the company is actually too smart for that, so they'll tell us to shove it hard and sideways up an uncomfortable spot. And poor little Daphne will be left communicating in the old-fashioned way - only one step ahead of sending out snail mail or leaving post-its on everyone's monitors whenever I have something to tell them.
That's just my prediction though.
In other work-related news - Birk (another surviving Marketing member) thinks he's going to get canned - and actually hopes he will b/c it would make him (1) leave (2) get a new job, and (3) stop hating the hours between 9 and 5 so much.
Also, the Event Planner thinks she has less than 3 weeks before she's also 'made redundant'.
We were daydreaming today about how satisfying it would be if the Marketing team (3 of us) and the Event Planner were to all walk out one day - I think we could just print off 4 copies of my brother's resignation letter (that has already been tailored and used by one person at our company), and just fill in the blanks in pen and leave it on the new boss' desk.
That would be the second best day of my life (right below January 30th, 2006 - the day I got to put a sparkly ring on my finger AND go see Bon Jovi). Honestly - right up there. Better than my 24th birthday in Bologna, Italia; Better than the day I found myself singing in the centre of a 2000 year old pink marble roman amphitheatre. Better than any day spent entirely in bed. Better than that day in grade 3 that Bobby Murray got in shit for stealing my favourite eraser (jerkface) or the day I got my grade 5 teacher on probation for being a sexist prick. Better than pretty much anything.
One thing's certain: I don't like Vegas, just as I suspected I wouldn't. It's everything I dislike about the States, rolled into a big ball, multiplied by five hundred chinging slot machines and covered in sparkly neon lights, being rolled along by loud, crass, belching men in "I Heart Sin City" Tshirts next to their boob-jobbed, red tube top clad arm candy girlfriends. Blech - tacky.
My favourite part of my stay was sitting in my in-room hot tub for an hour reading a book late Tuesday night. I'm such a party animal :)
The multi-level marketing platform I went to check out makes me drool - gimme. Seriously. It would make my job uber fantastic. Now, we just have to convince the upper echilon at the company that it should be 'core' - meaning that they'd think it's imporant enough to actually SPEND MONEY on.
Daphne's prediction: Not gonna happen. They'll try to convince this company to give it to us for free because "they'd benefit from a partnership with us" - but the company is actually too smart for that, so they'll tell us to shove it hard and sideways up an uncomfortable spot. And poor little Daphne will be left communicating in the old-fashioned way - only one step ahead of sending out snail mail or leaving post-its on everyone's monitors whenever I have something to tell them.
That's just my prediction though.
In other work-related news - Birk (another surviving Marketing member) thinks he's going to get canned - and actually hopes he will b/c it would make him (1) leave (2) get a new job, and (3) stop hating the hours between 9 and 5 so much.
Also, the Event Planner thinks she has less than 3 weeks before she's also 'made redundant'.
We were daydreaming today about how satisfying it would be if the Marketing team (3 of us) and the Event Planner were to all walk out one day - I think we could just print off 4 copies of my brother's resignation letter (that has already been tailored and used by one person at our company), and just fill in the blanks in pen and leave it on the new boss' desk.
That would be the second best day of my life (right below January 30th, 2006 - the day I got to put a sparkly ring on my finger AND go see Bon Jovi). Honestly - right up there. Better than my 24th birthday in Bologna, Italia; Better than the day I found myself singing in the centre of a 2000 year old pink marble roman amphitheatre. Better than any day spent entirely in bed. Better than that day in grade 3 that Bobby Murray got in shit for stealing my favourite eraser (jerkface) or the day I got my grade 5 teacher on probation for being a sexist prick. Better than pretty much anything.
If only...
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Luring me to the Dark Side?
My job is freaking crazy. My new VP - who I thought hated us and was plotting to make the marketing department work ourselves out of jobs - is trying to win me over.
Next week, she's taking me to Vegas to get a demo of a new multi-level marketing and communications system. Yesterday, she gave me a 'corporate hand job' telling me how she's been nothing but impressed with me so far, but thinks I have an untapped talent that I haven't been able to use in my position. I now have full license to draw up a new communications strategy for the whole company, and run with it. And she's getting me into more PR - which I told her I didn't want to be doing. She was surprised, since I'm such an outgoing person, but I explained that I bloody hate writing press releases - so she told me I could outsource them and concentrate on what I actually like doing.
I go in waves with this job. After yesterday, I'm more stressed, but, I actually like what I'm stressing about. Developing a new comm strategy will be challenging but rewarding, and the company really needs it.
I'm still looking for a new job though :)
K, off to work!
Next week, she's taking me to Vegas to get a demo of a new multi-level marketing and communications system. Yesterday, she gave me a 'corporate hand job' telling me how she's been nothing but impressed with me so far, but thinks I have an untapped talent that I haven't been able to use in my position. I now have full license to draw up a new communications strategy for the whole company, and run with it. And she's getting me into more PR - which I told her I didn't want to be doing. She was surprised, since I'm such an outgoing person, but I explained that I bloody hate writing press releases - so she told me I could outsource them and concentrate on what I actually like doing.
I go in waves with this job. After yesterday, I'm more stressed, but, I actually like what I'm stressing about. Developing a new comm strategy will be challenging but rewarding, and the company really needs it.
I'm still looking for a new job though :)
K, off to work!
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Not a good start
Day one under a new VP and I've already had 4 projects dumped on me on top of my existing ones. That's after a 4 hour **useless** 'aligning of priorities/brainstorming session.
Great. Take four hours out of my work day and then give me new projects to complete... when? Bugger.
Oh, if only I could quit on the spot.... if only my wedding wasn't going to cost me my kidney...
...Do I dare disturb the universe? Do I dare to eat a peach?...
Great. Take four hours out of my work day and then give me new projects to complete... when? Bugger.
Oh, if only I could quit on the spot.... if only my wedding wasn't going to cost me my kidney...
...Do I dare disturb the universe? Do I dare to eat a peach?...
The ship is sinking... time to jump
So my VP was fired unceremoniously yesterday - ahem, I mean, she "is no longer with the company". Apparently, they had her office half cleaned before she even came in to work. Rat bastards.
This leaves the Marketing Department (well, what's left of us after a massive reorg [I mean "reinvention"] we had not two months ago) wondering what our role us without the VP of Marketing. We now report to the VP Operations, and none of us is happy about this.
All the more reason to finish my resume and get a fabulous new job.
I guess I won't have any problems asking my former VP for a reference now.
At least I got to the gym yesterday... that was the only non-crappy thing about the whole day.
This leaves the Marketing Department (well, what's left of us after a massive reorg [I mean "reinvention"] we had not two months ago) wondering what our role us without the VP of Marketing. We now report to the VP Operations, and none of us is happy about this.
All the more reason to finish my resume and get a fabulous new job.
I guess I won't have any problems asking my former VP for a reference now.
At least I got to the gym yesterday... that was the only non-crappy thing about the whole day.
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