The rest of the beans - if it's on facebook, it's official

We changed our facebook statuses before dinner last night, and were so excited to get home from Oliver & Bonaccini's to see the madness that ensued.

Mine said: Daphne has a bun in the oven
Nick's said: Nick is preparing for the late-night ice cream & pickle runs.

As of this morning, I have 29 comments ranging from "Congratulations!" to "Holy Cow!" to "Are you just baking again, or do you really have a 'bun in the oven?'" And I got an email from an old friend who moved to BC a couple of years back, who knew about my old no-babies rule - she was floored, and happy for us, and curious if this was planned ;)

So that's it - the world knows. I'm wearing maternity clothes, and the world knows about our little brownie. It feels so liberating to not be hiding it anymore!

Now, I'm not just cautiously pregnant, I'm PREGNANT! And I'm going to be a mommy in 6 months!

Spilling more beans - telling work!

I spilled more beans yesterday - I just couldn't wait to tell work. I was going to tell them today in our monthly meeting, but it got cancelled so I said screw waiting! So I waited until everyone got into the office, and then rallied everyone out of their desks and just pulled out the ultrasound picture. They were all so thrilled - and they totally knew. They said they had been talking about it for weeks, but were just waiting for me to tell them. Even the only guy in my department noticed - and I rarely ever see him!

What tipped them off:

• I stopped coming in in the mornings with a cappuccino made at home. Antonia even asked me how my capp. maker was a while back - I said great.... when in fact, coffee just tasted bad so I wasn't making it.
• My acne. They all noticed that (great). Good thing the meds are finally working!
• My weight. They all noticed that too. And they said that this is the first time I've just seemed content with getting bigger. I'm normally the one pushing everyone to do South Beach together, and now I'm advocating bigger pants.
• My eating habits - they said the saltines were a dead givaway. And while I only felt sick for a couple of weeks, those few times they saw me munching on crackers confirmed their suspicions.

Anyway, they're all really excited for me. I then went and told one of the Marketing Managers that I work closely with, and she was so excited - but she had no idea. She looked at my tummy as I was sitting in her office, and said this is the first time she'd noticed it.

And then I went and told the Marketing Director - who used to be my VP at the Internet Franchise. She was surprised... sort of. At dinner a few weeks ago with the old work crew, she noticed my tummy and that my face had gotten a little rounder - and thought it was weird because I was skinny everywhere else and I've always had such a narrow face. So she said she's glad her suspicions were correct, and she's really excited for me.

So, the only beans left to spill at work are to the President, who is the most family-friendly man ever. He'll be so happy for me, and I love that. I'll have to set up a meeting with him or something, because I rarely run in to him unless I'm writing a speech or something for him.

And tonight, I think we'll change our facebook statuses and watch the madness ensue! I plan on saying, "Daphne has a bun in the oven", and Nick's going to say, "Nick is heading out on an ice cream and pickles run" :)

Bean Spilling - Telling my dad

We saw my dad and Susan on Saturday for dinner, which marked the last of the spilling the beans to family marithon we'd been running. Since we had just seen the babe the day before, we were pretty confident in telling them.

My SIL dressed Ty in the Super Cousin shirt we gave him, and when he took off his sweater, I said, "Ty, show Grampa and Susan your shirt!". He was not interested - he ran to the back door and wanted to go play outside. And Dad and Susan weren't really intent on seeing the shirt, no matter how many times I said it.

Eventually, my Dad read it and didn't get it at all. So I said, "because Ty's going to be a cousin". He just looked at me and said, "Oh really? Congratulations". Not excited - more awkward and matter-of-fact. Very anticlimactic. He hugged me really briefly and shook Nick's hand. End of story. Then Susan came to the backyard and said, "okay, so what shirt do I need to see?" She read it, and said, "Oh, that's great news" and hugged both of us. That was it. It was so awkward.

I know my dad and I aren't as close as he and my brother are, but it was dissappointing. It's not that he's not excited to have another grandchild, it's that he just doesn't know how to react.

Meh. Whatever. At least the rest of the family is over the moon - and he'll be excited later, I'm sure.

So now the whole family knows. Not long now before I can tell work and the rest of the world! After my big ultrasound.... that's coming up so soon!

Spilling Beans - Telling the in-laws

My in-laws came over on Good Friday to have dinner at our house to celebrate my Mother-in-law's 60th birthday. The whole family came - MIL/FIL (London), SIL/BIL + their 3 kids (London), and SIL/BIL + their son (Toronto). It was a full house, and we took the opportunity to tell them our news - I was 9 weeks along.

So everyone had gone in on a gift for my MIL - we had a painting done of a poster she loved. So we brought it out, and she was surprised. And she thought that was it for gifts.

Then, Nick and I handed her another box, and the siblings were confused, since we hadn't told them we had gotten her something independantly. We took an Indian jewellery box and wrapped it up with a bib inside that said "Thank Heaven for little babies". As she was unwrapping, Nick said, "Mom, it's your 60th, so we couldn't help but go a little overboard. So if you don't like it, just pretend". When she saw the box, she got all excited thinking we got her jewellery. The siblings were so confused, because the whole family buys all our jewellery through my BIL, who is a wholesaler. So they were ticked that we got her something from somewhere else without them knowing.

When she opened the box, there was a brief moment of disappointment when she realized it wasn't a necklace set - and then she realized what it meant and squealed and got up to hug us. The whole family was excited and gushing - and my poor nieces had no idea what was going on until my SIL said, "Daphne Mani has a baby in her belly!" We had to tell them quickly that it's a big secret, so they couldn't tell their uncle and other grandparents yet - since they were staying with them in Toronto that weekend.

My one SIL was so surprised - she didn't know we were trying, or even that we had changed our minds about kids (well, that I changed my mind). She was ticked that Nick didn't tell her. The other SIL, who knew that's why we cancelled India but also thought we were on a break for now, was surprised because she had come straight out and asked Nick if we were still on hold, not two days before, and he lied to her face.

It was awesome. The next morning, I took my MIL to a hair appointment (we were going to a wedding on the Saturday) and she told me in the car, "it's not that it's more important, but.... well, this is the first grandchild that will be 'our family' - the other kids belong to their fathers' families. Not that it's more important, but still". Because in Indian culture, her daughters leave their family to join their husbands, but their son stays with the parents forever. She was so careful not to make a big deal about it - but I know this really means something to her. It's the only kid to carry on the family name.

So, in a nutshell, they were thrilled. And my SIL (in Toronto) was shocked that we had everyone over to our place when I was pregnant. "You should have all come to our place so you didn't have to do so much work!"

The cutest thing was when my nieces were leaving. I reminded them both that the baby is still a big secret, so they can't tell their uncle or grandparents or anyone else yet. The 6 year old said "I'm really good with secrets - I didn't tell anyone about our baby brother!" I said great, thanks. Then she got all serious, and said, "Daphne Mani... can I tell them when the baby is born?" She was so concerned that she would have to keep the secret that long! I assured her that she'd be able to tell them long before that!

The wedding on Saturday was great - and the sari I wore hid my bloat, for the most part :)

Spilling the Beans - telling my family

I've been blog-delinquent this week, mostly because for some reason I've been unable to connect to my home computer from work (boo). This also means I haven't been on theBump through the day, which is probably a good thing considering how swamped I am at work these days. There's just too much to do.


But screw work for a minute - I want to write about last weekend when we told my family the big news! Here's how it went down:


We went to my Mom's on Saturday, and shortly after, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew came over. We were going to do birthday presents for my brother and nephew later, but we told them we had Easter presents for Ty and the baby, and handed them two little packages with Easter cards.


It took some convincing to drag Ty away from his toys, but eventually, he sat with my brother and opened the T-shirt. Trev pulls it out and says, cool! (because it looks like superman). Then he read out "cousin" in a confused voice.


And then silence. Like, nobody got it. Crickets, for like, a minute and I wondered if I was going to have to spell it out for them. Then finally, my sister-in-law says very slowly, "... is Ty going to be a cousin?" and I said "yes, he is!" It took another 30 seconds or so before my mom got it, and she shouted "Oh my god!" Then everyone got up and hugged us and congratulated us. My brother seemed really excited - which was sweet. I expected him to be happy obviously, but he congratulated us on the great news 5 or 6 more times over the weekend.


My mom already invited herself up to stay with us for a week to 'help out' when the baby is born - which totally isn't happening. I told Nick that before - I know we'll be exhausted and kind of lost, but I want to do this just us. After she mentioned it a bunch of times, I eventually suggested that she come up a couple of weeks after to stay, just because Nick will likely be taking off a couple weeks at the beginning, so I'll really appreciate the help when he goes back to work. She agreed. Bullet dodged.

Overall, it went well. They're all really excited for us, and they're sworn to secrecy until I give them the go-ahead.

When we told them that we're telling Nick's family this weekend, my mom said, "okay, I'll be sure not to say anything until after that." Um , NO. You can't tell everyone yet! Not for another month! She was bummed, but understood. I mean, I still haven't had a doctor's appointment yet! For all I know, the baby could have stopped growing and I don't know it (I really hope not, but it's entirely possible).

Ty's big birthday party was on Sunday, and when we were leaving I went up to my brother to say goodbye and he congratulated me again on the great news and hugged me. I think he's really looking forward to being an Uncle. He's an uncle on my SIL's side, but (and I know this sounds terrible) it just means more when it's your own family. I mean, I love the kids on Nick's side to death, but there's just something special about my own brother's son, you know? He's blood.

So tomorrow's the big day with Nick's family.

Here's the plan:


The family's coming to our place to celebrate my MIL's 60th birthday. We're going to make her open her present right at the beginning, even though she'll want to wait for cake. We're going to say something like, "it's your 60th, and we went a little overboard but we couldn't help it. We had to get you something special". Then we have a big necklace/jewellry box wrapped up so she thinks she's getting some Indian jewellry. (this will confuse everyone else too, because the family buys all jewellry through my BIL, and he won't know anything about it). Inside the box, laid out like a necklace, is a bib that says "thank Heaven for little babies". And the cat will be out of the bag :)

And then, I can start soliciting free medical advice from my SIL the doctor :) Like, what the hell can I do about this damn acne??

Okay. I should be working - I'm freaking swamped. So I'm off. Some pictures of my brother and Ty:

Have I mentioned that I love my job?

So, I told my boss yesterday! I know it's crazy early, but we're really close and it was funny how it came up.

She and I went for coffee yesterday, and when we got back to our department she pulled me into her office and closed the door and said excitedly, "I have news! --no, I'm not pregnant! haha" and then told me that we've won a workplace award that I put an application in for in the fall. So we talked about that for a minute. (note: She's well into her 40s and done with kids, so the "I'm not pregnant" thing was totally a joke)

So the whole time I was thinking, should I tell her? It's such a perfect opportunity!
So after we had talked work for a few minues, I said "So... I have news" She she didn't even hesitate, and said "You're pregnant!" and jumped up, ran around the desk and hugged me.

I told her we just found out and I'm only 3-4 weeks along so it's hush-hush, but she's so excited. And made me promise I'll come back after mat leave because she said she doesn't know what she'll do without me :)

She knew back in the fall that we had decided to start trying, and said yesterday that she was hoping I'd tell her when I had good news but didn't want to pry. I'm so lucky that my boss is awesome.