I have...

• An aching pelvis 24 hours a day. It's not just at the end of the day anymore - I wake up with it. It feels like my pubic bone is bruised beyond repair from a 3-day horseback riding adventure - bareback. But it's bruised from the inside, not the outside.
• Pooped 5 times in the last 24 hours. Substantial poop. This is not normal. I'm a once-a-day kind of gal. But I refuse to believe that this is nature clearing me out for a reason.
• My group B strep test today
• To ask my doctor if it's absolutely crazy to drive to Collingwood for this wedding on Sunday. Like, on a scale of 1 to Tom Cruise, how crazy is this? And I don't want to hear the answer, because I really want to go to the wedding - they're good friends. I think that the doc will say it's fine since I'm only 35 1/2 weeks. BUT... Nick thinks we're nuts to risk it, so I'm a little worried, though I tell him I'm not.
• To get work off my mind. I dreamt about it all night and was awake a few times thinking about re-branding some templates today. I'm in the midst of training - only 1 week left!
• To ask the doctor what position the baby is in. It kind of stresses me that I don't know. And that I keep feeling movement so low in my crotch... I hope that's the baby head-butting me, but it feels more like little kicks. Please, PLEASE don't be feet!
• Nothing to wear. I have a pair of jeans and a pair of yoga pants left to wear, and that's it. It's gotten too cold to wear the capris, dresses and skirts I've lived on all summer, and now I'm forced to wear 2 pairs of pant on alternating days. This is not cool.
• Only 5 days left in the office. And today doesn't really count, since I have to leave halfway through an already short Friday to go to the doctor's.
• To leave for work. I'm going in for 7 so I can get some work done before I have to leave around 9:45 to get to my appointment. I'll work from home after my appointment.

Blargh.

Today at lunch, I thought I was doing just fine. I wasn't thinking about my Mr. Noodles - just chatting with the ladies and eating, and the evil nausea fairy seemed to have pissed off for a while.

I look over at two of my colleagues sharing a disgusted look. I give one the "What?" look, and she mouths, "tell you later." okay. I continue with the noodles.

Then, two of the ladies leave to go for a walk (read: smoke) and my friend explains what happened. The one woman had been eating vegetable soup with a plastic spoon, and the spoon was bright orange after her soup. She then - without even wiping it - dug her spoon into her strawberry yogurt and started chowing down.

Just the thought of this made me gag. I honestly thought I was going to have a Mr. Noodle-tastrophe. And I didn't even see the soup/yogurt incident first hand!

Thanks, nausea fairy, for reminding me that I'm pregnant.

Have I mentioned that I love my job?

So, I told my boss yesterday! I know it's crazy early, but we're really close and it was funny how it came up.

She and I went for coffee yesterday, and when we got back to our department she pulled me into her office and closed the door and said excitedly, "I have news! --no, I'm not pregnant! haha" and then told me that we've won a workplace award that I put an application in for in the fall. So we talked about that for a minute. (note: She's well into her 40s and done with kids, so the "I'm not pregnant" thing was totally a joke)

So the whole time I was thinking, should I tell her? It's such a perfect opportunity!
So after we had talked work for a few minues, I said "So... I have news" She she didn't even hesitate, and said "You're pregnant!" and jumped up, ran around the desk and hugged me.

I told her we just found out and I'm only 3-4 weeks along so it's hush-hush, but she's so excited. And made me promise I'll come back after mat leave because she said she doesn't know what she'll do without me :)

She knew back in the fall that we had decided to start trying, and said yesterday that she was hoping I'd tell her when I had good news but didn't want to pry. I'm so lucky that my boss is awesome.

Off hold and onto the fence

We don't know what we're doing now.
We're in limbo - to try this month or not to try? If we try, I'll have to push my MRI to the end of the month (and cancel it if I get pregnant). If I get pregnant this month, we'll have yet another November baby in our family - but do we care? I just don't know anymore.

My damn period is still here, so we have some time to decide, but not much.

In other news, my mom's coming up to visit this weekend and I'm actually looking forward to it. I've hardly seen her since Christmas, so it'll be nice to spend some time together. I'm sure I'll change my mind when she's at our place from Friday until Sunday (one day too long, as always) but for today, I'm optimistic.

Work is absolutely mental. I'm trying to prepare the All-Employee Meeting, and I don't know how I'm supposed to get it all done - I could probably work from now until Monday morning with no breaks, and then maybe I'd be ready for next week. Maybe. I may or may not have a nervous breakdown, but at least I know that when February's over, it'll get back to normal again.

Days Off

Since we canceled our India trip (no regrets at all now, after all that's going on there) I had 13 vacation days I needed to use. I carried 5 over to 2009 to use before March, which left me with 8 random days to use in a month and a half. I took Monday & Tuesday off last week, and this week, I'm off Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday. The remaining 3 days will be used b/t Christmas and New Years.

Last week, I did absolutely nothing with my time off, and it was everything I wanted it to be. I sat at home, watched countless episodes of A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby, cooked, ate, and sat on my couch some more. That's it. And it was wonderful. I was getting pretty burnt out at work, so the time off was really needed. Work was freaking crazy Wednesday, but whatever, it was worth it.

This week, I'm doing more with my time. Today, I'm heading downtown to meet my old office-mate at Insurance Hell, Sandy, for lunch. We're going to the Japanese place we used to go to often - I miss that. I don't miss Insurance Hell at all (hooray for The Publisher: The best workplace in the world!) but I miss Sandy, and I miss our lunches. So I'm looking forward to that.

Tomorrow, I'm heading downtown again to meet my sister-in-law and her cousin (-in-law, I guess, since it's her husband's cousin) for some shopping in the afternoon. We're heading to some place where my brother-in-law buys purses for cheap, or something.

Wednesday is my (ugh) 29th birthday, so I'm going to get a manicure/pedicure to try to forget that I'm turning 29. Now that I'm not out of the country, I guess my birthday still has to happen, which really blows.

Ooh, on a birthday positive, I think my wonderful husband may have bought me my long-coveted cappuccino/coffee maker! I can see the box in our foyer, but it's covered in bags so I don't know what it is. It's a big box though! I said I don't want presents (because I want to pretend my birthday didn't happen at all), but I wouldn't say no to the cappuccino maker!

Okay. Off to make some full-caffeine coffee (enjoying it while I have my period, because after that, I'm back to decaf while I TTC) and some breakfast.

*Note: Welcome to any Bump-ers that might be visiting! I finally put a link to my blog in my Bump signature.

The season of crisp air, falling leaves, and, it seems, layoffs

I was talking with one of my colleagues this morning who thinks her husband might be laid off this afternoon. He has a departmental meeting at 3, and the head of HR is on the attendee list.
That is never good.
Apparently, he wasn't too concerned about it - just thought it was some kind of strategy meeting or whatever - but she reminded him that, "uh honey - I work in HR. Trust me: a 3:00 meeting with everyone and HR is never a good thing."

He's been there for 15 years, so if he is laid off, at least he'll get a good package. And she has a great stable job, so she's not worried at all. She was just surprised by his naiivte, considering that he's been married to her for 20 years and during that time has heard many stories of re-orgs and layoffs. He should know how these things go. A 3:00 meeting usually means that either everyone's being let go at once, or everyone's in the meeting while a few people are noticably absent - being informed of their termination and cleaning out their desk in peace, without the humiliation of having the rest of the department watching.

What is it about this time of year that means layoffs for companies? I wonder if statistically, the fall is a really common month for re-orgs (or "reinventions", as the Internet Franchise called it). It was the first week of November when the Internet Franchise unceremoniously laid off HALF of its employees (me not one of them), and it was the middle of last October that Insurance Hell laid off 4 out of a 14-person team (3 of them being my Communications colleagues) and again, I was spared the pink slip but given loads of extra work (super). I wonder.

Man, am I ever glad I'm not being laid off right now. I actually like my job. I like my boss. I feel that I'm doing meaningful work and I'm recognized for my contributions. It's almost unreal. And she keeps telling me that I'm not allowed to quit, because she'd go crazy. Hooray for job stability :)

A veritable birthday bonanza

My husband's 29th birthday was on Sunday - Friday kicked off what will be a 3-week birthday fest for him involving no fewer than 6 birthday meals with family and friends. This is not because he's some kind of egomaniac who expects the world to revolve around his date of birth (I'm the egomaniac in this relationship, not him) but because... well, just because. Let me list:

1. Friday dinner - birthday with wife
2. Saturday dinner - birthday with friends
3. Sunday lunch - birthday with parents and one sister
4. Sunday dinner - birthday with other sister
5. following Saturday dinner - birthday with crazy mother-in-law
6. following Saturday dinner - birthday with father- and brother-in-law

That doesn't include colleagues from current and previous contracts who wanted to meet up for lunch in honour of the occasion. It's madness.

Anyway, his birthday made me think back to last year at this time. I was trying to write some awful article for Insurance Hell and was going mental. I had stayed up all night writing it, and when I went into work, found out that the manager who had approved the topic hadn't gotten VP approval, and now I had to start from scratch on a new, but equally awful and difficult topic that needed to be approved and submitted to the magazine by noon the next day. One of my managers told me, "I hate having to tell you that you'll have to work on this tonight, but you'll need to manage the approvals process, incorprating changes and such tonight so we can meet our deadline." I was nearly in tears in his office, because that night was my husband's birthday dinner and I couldn't miss it and I have spent way too long on this awful thing and and and...

And I'm so glad I'm not there anymore. My new job is awesome. That is all.

And not once was I told "Remember, you're still on probation!"

So yesterday marked the end of my 6 month probation at the Publisher - yay me! I can't get fired without notice anymore! Not that there was any threat of that here, really. Working in a really functional and fair HR team has its perks.

I went for 2 hour lunch with my boss yesterday to commemorate the end of my probation and to discuss my career path, bring up any issues, etc. and basically, everything's awesome. She asked what 's going well - I said, "my job." She asked what she can do differently or more/less of to be a better manager for me (!) and I said, "let's just keep doing what we're doing." I asked if she's had any feedback on me - positive or negative - that I could use constructively and she said, "I've heard nothing but postive about you - and I try to always pass that along when I hear it."

This place was made for me. It's freaking me out... in a really good way.

So now, I'm going to go see if she wants to get a coffee - just because she's great.

This is by no means my first 'adult' job, but it's certainly the first time I've felt like an adult at a job. I'm not faking it, hoping nobody will notice. I'm not doing the bare minimum because I know I'll want to jump soon. I'm not just getting what I can out of it in order to build my portfolio. I'm actually looking at this job as a CAREER. That's both scary and comforting... it's a weird mix, but it works for me (being the dichotomy that I am).

I should try harder (and slower) at learning

Today, I relearned a valuable lesson, for the 10th time (which probably means I should try harder at learning)

Do not try to things quickly, because you will mess them up

It was 10:15. I had a meeting set for 10:30 and an announcement to send out first, and I had to pee. I thought, I'll send this announcement out quickly, then pee, and still have time to get back to my desk before my meeting. I'm so good.

First, I sent the announcement to our admin (who asked me to distribute it) with a little message at the top saying "hey Mel, I put it in the Message from the President template and fixed the second line. I'll send it out to everyone now. ~Daph."

Then, I sent the same announcement - with the message to Mel at the top - out to the whole company.

I run to the bathroom and come back to find Mel and the President's EA looking for me - not a good sign. They told me what happend and I felt like such an arse. I guess it could have been worse - at least I didn't swear or say something inappropriate about the President or something.

Oh, and also, the Recall Message thing in Outlook doesn't work. Everyone in the company recieved my original message, a recall message, and the new message - and could view all 3 of them. If it doesn't actually recall the message, then what the hell's the point??

Adventures in editing

We have 3 newsletters at my job, which I manage. I write two of them myself, and the third is our employee newsletter - we have an editorial board who do most of the writing, and I'm the executive editor.

We have a new board member who was to write about our new defibrillators, since she's also on the Health & Safety committee. She submitted her article to me on Monday with this email:

this kinda sucks but i've just been insanely busy-promise better results
next time
your the best !!!!!

Shudder. This is a punctuation nightmare. And, I'm the best WHAT? Oh, I see, you mean "you're the best." Shudder.

So I open the attachment entititled "Defribrilators" - great. You left out one L and added a superfluous R. Perfect. This is going to be good, I can tell. The 'article' she submitted is below. I say 'article' because everything but the first paragraph was copied and pasted verbatum from an announcement that was sent out two weeks ago. Sorry, that's not fair. She did change it somewhat. She copied and pasted it, then messed with the font, and screwed with punctuation and spacing for no apparent reason. Oh, and she changed "fool-proof" to "idiot proof" - nice. What I love most is that she starts the article off by reminding our readers of a fellow employee who died of a heart attack at a work conference 10 years ago. Way to get their attention by hitting them in the face.

Without further ado, here's what she submitted. I think I'll highlight a few glaring issues, just for fun.

__________________________________________

AUTOMATED EXTERNAL DEFRIBRILLATORS (ya, that's not spelled correctly.
That's why there's a wavy red line under it.)


Had debrillators (What?!) been available at the conference years ago Mike Lenucci might still be with us .But they were not and he is not.

An AED is used to treat the most common causes of sudden cardiac arrest where the heart stops pumping. When used correctly, the AED automatically analyzes the heart rhythm to determine if a shock is required. If it is, the AED sends a shock
across the heart to reactivate the heart. The use of this device in conjunction with CPR can be repeated until emergency medical services arrive.

A few weeks ago Our Company made the investment of several defribillator (this was spelled correctly in the announcement she took it from) units to be made available on each floor. Training was provided to select employees as to how to employ these units.But training was not essential since these 1 use only units are virtually idiot proof.They will not generate a charge if a heartbeat is detected or if the unit is not placed on the torso properly .Each are easily accessible on all OurCompany (there should be a space between those words) floors The following first Aiders have completed AED training and are your primary resource for using these
devices:

***********
***********
***********
***********
Training for the remaining First Aiders will be completed over the next few months.

AED's have been installed at the following locations: ***********, ***********,
*********** .


Please feel free to contact anyone on the Joint Health and Safety committee for any further information.

__________________________________________

Awesome. Just awesome. I'm so glad she joined our editorial board. Now I can look forward to rewriting her articles every month. Yay!

Hump Day.

A couple of quick things:

I had another baby dream last night. At least this time I wasn't actually 'me' in my dream - I was someone else who had adopted a Chinese baby.
This dream didn't freak me out as much - first, because it wasn't actually me. Second, because I know why I had the dream - I was watching America's Got Talent (actually, my husband was watching it, but I watched about 5 minutes worth. I don't know why he loves 'reality' TV so much) and there was a segment on this adopted Chinese girl who is a contortionist.

Anyway, I'm really REALLY counting down until I know I'm not pregnant. Good lord - this has been the longest month ever!

On a different topic, I wonder why it is that working with the IT department to get something done is always such a bloody ordeal. It doesn't seem to matter what company you're at, the IT team is always the same. I've been asking for a folder on a public server since March to complete a re-vamp of our communications here. All I need is a folder where I can house documents so I can link to them within communications to staff. That's it. A folder on a server. And here I am, FOUR MONTHS LATER still chasing them down, and now they're trying to set me up with a SharePoint site instead of getting me a simple folder - which is much more complicated than it needs to be.

All I need is a folder!!! With write-privileges!

Why is this so difficult?
UGh.
I'm going to lunch.

Night and Day

Remember my boss from my last job? Remember the ominous and cryptic emails she would send, and how I dreaded interacting with her? Ya, me too. Those 10 months were the most unhappy and least creative I've ever spent, due in equal parts to how much insurance sucks, and my manager's "I can't make you respect me, but I can make you fear me" management.

My new boss is her exact opposite. She's the inverse of the old boss. If it was a math equasion, it would go something like this:

Boss3 = Boss2^-1

(Woa, did Daphne just do something math-related? Yes, yes she did... Does she have a gun held to her head or something? Nope. Huh... weird. That may be a first.)

Yesterday, we had a big ol' crazy event at work - my boss and I planned & executed the thing. I can't tell you what an ordeal it was. Well, I can, but I just don't want to relive the constant struggle we had with our Corporate office in the U.S. over the last month or so. Just believe me: The planning was mental, the day was hectic, and my boss and I managed to have a good time despite it all. And people ate cupcakes.

So last night, exhausted after a 12 hour day at work (following a week of working in the evenings), I compulsively checked my email and I received this from my new boss:

Hi Daphne… you were a star today.

Your pleasant approach, willingness to help and constant smile really helped us get through some challenges. I appreciate your positive attitude and your sense of humour. As you said - one down, one to go! Thanks for everything you did. Without you, we would not have been able to pull this off with such panache!

It was a pleasure working with you.
~The best Manager in the world

Is there anything else to say, except that I love my job? I was born to work here. As my dad's girlfriend says, "Some jobs are great to get and great to leave" - but this one is just great.

Going up?

A couple of weeks ago, I presented a communications strategy to the sales managers - most of whom, I have never met. It went well, I thought - people asked questions, seemed interested, didn't shout at me... all in all, a good meeting. But you never really know what people are thinking.

So, I was in the elevator today and received the nicest compliment. One of the guys from the meeting said to me that he had meant to tell me how well he thought I did at the meeting. He said I was very professional, well-spoken, seemed very comfortable at the front of the room, especially since I didn't know anyone there, and that the plan I presented was just what they needed.

He said, "you've obviously done some PR before." And I have - a bit. But I don't think that's where it comes from. I've always enjoyed presenting - be it on stage with a microphone and some music, in a play, or in front of a group of classmates or colleages - it makes no difference to me. If I'm comfortable with the subject matter, just point me towards the mic.

Anyway, it was an entirely unsolicited compliment, which made it that much more meaningful. He could have just said, "Good morning, Daphne." But instead, he completely made my day.

It's so weird being in a job that I'm really good at. I spent 10 months in insurance hell and was made to feel like I had chosen the wrong profession. I've been at the Publisher for almost 2 months, and I feel like I can do anything - and will be supported by my team. And, apparently, I'll also be supported by members of different departments, just because.

Golden.

I had to 'pitch' a presentation to the President this afternoon. He'll be giving a speech at a conference next week, and I'm the presentation-maker. Problem is, this is the first time I've ever done a presentation for him. I had a general idea of what he wanted, but what does he mean when he says he wants a "pretty full draft" on Monday? A complete presentation plus speech? Bullet points? Complete slides but no speaking notes? Does he even want speaking notes at all? Needless to say, the presentation was not finished when I went into his office. I would not have called it a 'pretty full draft.'

Despite that, the meeting went well and I think he liked my approach. It's a short presentation - 15 - 20 minutes - and he wanted videos in it. Basically, I went to him with slide/note printouts, told him about the videos I'm including (but explained that I need to edit them down a bit still, which is true, and I don't have the software to do that here) and talked him through the main points I think he needs to touch on following the video clips.

I had some speaking notes in the PPT, but some were bullet form, some were full sentences ( I needed about a 1/2 hour more to finish it up and he bumped the meeting up a 1/2 hour - ack). Instead of leaving him wondering if Daphne has writing problems and if they hired some incompetant fool, I addressed the fact that it wasn't consistent, and asked him how he would like the final copy, bullets or full speaking notes. Lucky for me, he thinks that just bullets of what I really think he needs to touch on is just fine.

Things are really nuts here this week, and he has about 30 seconds to think about this presentation he'll be giving next week. He asked me how many minutes video I think I have - I told him about 10 minutes. His face lit up - that means only 10 minutes of him talking, so maybe a half hour of preparation and he'll be golden.

He likes the idea of the videos I've chosen, though he hasn't seen them yet. He likes the idea of the presentation he'll be giving, but he hasn't gone through it yet.

I like the idea that I don't have to write him a 20 minute speech and I like the fact that I'm surfing on YouTube and getting paid for it.

Through the Looking Glass

I've completed my first week in my new job at the Publisher, and I am humbly awed. I came home each night feeling as though I had just gone through a day in Insurance Hell, only in the complete inverse. Where my manager at Job2 was standoffish and cryptic, my manager at Job3 is warm and no-nonsense. Where the atmosphere in my deparment was fearful and tense, now, it is joyful and relaxed. The whole team - from the top on down, chat about their weekend, their work, and life in general. People help each other instead of waiting for each other to fail. I have been given credit for my skill - even before I have done anything particulary noteworthy yet. My boss keeps asking for my opinion - and truly wants it - and is thrilled by my suggestions. As my old boss at Job1 (who now works in a different department here at Job3) said, "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it just doesn't. It really is a great place to work."

I told my husband at dinner the other day that I really think this is the place where I will shine. I can really make a difference as a communicator here and grow professionally and personally, in an environment that values its staff and their skills. Here, work/life balance doesn't mean "work should be your life." It's unreal.

I've wondered before if I'd ever find a place to work where I can truly be Daphne - and I think I've found it.

A sign of things to come

About an hour after I verbally accepted the position at thePublisher, I received the following email from my new boss. Now THIS is the type of environment I should be working in.

Hi Daphne … it was great chatting with you this morning and I'm really excited about you joining our team. I'm biased - but I think you've made an excellent choice. ThePublisher is truly a great place to work.

Odd question - do you have any food allergies/preferences? We tend to do lots of food-related celebrations within the team … and typically do bagels/cream cheese as a "welcome". I shouldn't mislead you - in our team, we take every opportunity to celebrate and what better way than to say "hello" to someone new! If I know ahead of time about allergies/preferences (i.e. vegetarian, lactose intolerant, etc.) I can be sure to get something that will agree with you. We'll also plan lunch out that week for the two of us to get to know each other a little better.

If you have any questions between now and the 25th, please let me know. I look forward to working with you.

~NewBoss

Equal Parts Truth and Bullshit

In an email to my brother

Hey!
Good news - I accepted the job at The Publisher yesterday morning, and then resigned when my boss came in. Sweet :)

Needless to say, the interview with the President last Monday went really well - really nice guy, down to earth. It should be a really cool position - and more challenging than I thought initially, since he told me he wants me to work with him on their communications strategy, and I'll be advising him, too. Pretty cool - such an adult job :)

My current boss took it really well, as did the other manager I was talking with about the media position here. So, all in all, everything went smoothly. And my new boss sent me an email telling me how excited she is to have me join her team, and asked if I have any dietary concerns at all because she'd like to have a welcome breakfast for me. --Now that's the kind of place I want to work :)

A new opportunity?

Boss #1 emailed me this morning...

Happy new year and I hope you are doing well.
I will be trying to arrange something for the Job1’ers in early February.
A communications/pr position has become available in our HR department and the last time we talked you were not that interested in your current position. I am sending you the job description – it is full time but if you are still interested in contract they may be willing to go that way. Its interesting times for this position as our parent company is merging with a big media company and so the communications and pr may be very interesting.
If you're not interested but know someone who might, feel free to pass this along.
Boss1

Needless to say, my curiosity is piqued. Boss1 has raved about the Publisher since she started there, on the same day I started at the Insurance Nightmare. She's acutally already recruited a few others from Job1, and they all love it there. So ya, I'll be submitting my resume.