Half "Baked"

We went to a wedding in Stratford on Saturday, and before we drove back to TO yesterday, we stopped at Tim Horton's for a bit of breakfast. We decided to try out their new hasbrowns.

Generally, I'm a big fan of Tim Horton's. I worked there as a cake decorator through highschool and most of University, and, for the most part I love the food.

But I have to say how incredibly unimpressed I am with the new hashbrowns. They were soggy and peppery, and decidedly un-delicious. Even my husband, who will eat anything made from potato (especially if it's fried), didn't finish his because it was so vile. My husband opted out of hashbrowns. That's something I thought I'd never say. I hope they're a limited time thing, because yuck.

Also, one last little beef before I get some work done (after all, I am at work...).

QUIT MARKETING EVERYTHING AS 'BAKED' - AS THOUGH IT'S A HEALTHIER OPTION! We all know that the hashbrowns, along with the donuts, were fried first at the factory, then flash frozen and shipped to the stores where they were 'baked' for 3 minutes just to thaw and warm them.

WE'RE NOT MORONS! We know that there's no such thing as a baked hashbrown or donut! We'll eat them despite knowing they're fried - but please, just be honest! Better still, JUST DON'T TELL US HOW THEY'RE MADE! We won't be angry - we don't want to know how much butter is in that butter croissant, we just want to eat it. Don't tell us!

Ok. That's a lot of ALLCAPS for one morning. Off to work.

How 'bout we try, "were"

I was listening to the radio on my commute today, and okay, I know that I'm a grammar nazi. I also know (and accept) that some people use poor grammar because they don't know any better, or because it's a regionally accepted convention. Fine.

But hey, New Kids on the Block! We all know you come from upper middle class families in Boston - not some ghetto where you weren't taught to conjugate the verb "to be".

"You wasn't looking for a man"
"As long as we was together"

Honestly, the song wouldn't be half bad (certainly not musical genius, but hummable, if forgettable) if it weren't for the awful lyrics. I just can't get past it.

Quit trying to sound like you're younger and more 'raw' than you are. You just look like tools.

Your Keywords: Disappointed and Confused

It's a sad day for Daphne's iPod.



When I worked in Insurance Hell, I started downloading a variety of CBC podcasts to listen to on the subway. I quickly became hooked on SearchEngine. What an insightful, current and decidedly un-geeky program! I love that it's about current events but doesn't feel like the news.



Since I started working at the Publisher, I haven't been listening to podcasts so much. My drive is only about 20 minutes, so it's almost not worth hooking my iPod up in the car. I don't listen to them at work - just music while I write and edit.



Anyway, I'm starting to get tired of the radio (hearing the same damn songs from 7:45 - 8:05 and 4:50 - 5:20 every day gets a little wearing) so on Monday I decided to go back to the CBC site and download the Search Engine and other podcasts I've missed.



I listened to the "keywords" of the podcast for June 19: "Jim Prentice unlocked, small town cyberwars, and the last episode of Search Engine....vol.1 "



WHAT? Last episode of Search Engine?? But it's such a great show! It's received awards; it's listened to internationally; it makes me happy! It won't return in September in the form I know and love.... and I'm just not optimistic about the new format. I don't listen to other shows regularly, so the little snippets of SE stories that will apparently be included on other programs will not be very helpful to me. And while I'll no doubt continue to listen to Jesse's new 'raw and off the cuff' podcast, well, it just won't be the same.

Exhaustion

I'm taking a quick break at work - mmm... coffee and cake....
It was an absolutely draining weekend. The thought of even writing about it makes me want to just curl up and sleep, so I plan to skip over it quickly. My mom was here. It wasn't fun. End of story. The planned events were a good idea. Went to a show, had dinner, dragged my friend Mis(adventure) out for a trip to the beaches (she's a saint). Next time, I'll do that again (the planning of many events), and I'll tell her she should bring a friend up, too. That way, she'll probably only do a day trip or maybe stay one night instead of two, and she'll have someone else to drive crazy. She's much better when there's a 'buffer' friend between us.

Yesterday, we drove to London with mom in the car (longest 2 hours of my life) and then dropped her off before heading to my dad's for dinner. I started dinner with a much-deserved martini.
Then, when we got back last night at 10, I decorated a cake for a 35+ person reception at work today.

I'm bloody exhausted. I have an absolute ton of work to do, and I just can't make my brain work. I need a nap. A long, looooong nap.

It has been two really exhausting weeks and I just want to cuddle with my husband on the couch and watch a movie or something (and by 'watch,' I mean 'sleep through').

Only 1:20 left of work... sigh.
Ok, coffee and cake break is over. Back at it.

Preparing

The funeral wasn't fun. My best friend's brother did the eulogy, and the whole room pretty much lost it. It was beautiful and heartfelt, and I was a mess. His eulogy about this wonderful woman who was loved and revered by every one of her kids, grandkids and greatgrandkids actually made me (briefly) reexamine my 'no kids' policy. Briefly. That's all I'm going to say about the funeral. It was sad. I'm glad it's done. I wish that I didn't know that Poppy will be next.

I'm back home now - well, I'm at work, actually. I took the train back yesterday evening.
My mom's coming up to visit tomorrow and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. She has a way of making me crazy over really stupid things. I have to spend tonight combing our condo for things that might invite uncomfortable conversations - like the card my dad sent thanking us for the hospitality a couple of weeks ago, and anything that might indicate how often we see my in-laws, and, well I can't think of anything else now, but there will be a lot tonight. I can't explain what it is about my mother... you you have to know her to understand it. For the longest time my husband didn't see or understand the crazy. He thought I was being unreasonable and she was fine. Now, he gets it. Welcome to the family.

The last time she came to TO was the weekend after we moved in August 07. She insisted on coming that weekend, despite the fact that we had just barely moved in and would like to take some time buying furniture and unpacking. Her solution was, "I'll help unpack!" Ya, not gonna happen. I can just imagine the drama that would bring. So, we spent our first week frantically unpacking and furnishing so we'd have everything done when she arrived - with a spare room set up so she wouldn't have to sleep on our couch. We were exhausted. And she had nothing she wanted to do while in Toronto besides 'visit' - which meant our entire August long weekend was spent just sitting in the living room while my mother told us how she would decorate, what she would do, where she would put things. And try to explain that this is how we want it? Unacceptable. Her ideas are so much better, and she just can't understand why we don't agree with her. Maybe if I just explain why my idea is better one more time, you'll understand. Ugh.

So this time, we've learned our lesson. We're planning things for the weekend. She's arriving Friday night, and Saturday we're thinking we'll do breakfast at home, Indian buffet for lunch (I'm inviting my friend Meg to come as a buffer), go to the Beaches in the afternoon to kill some time, and we're going to get tickets for something Saturday night - there's a hypnotist magician or something in Toronto this weekend. That would be good. And Sunday we're all driving to London together. We'll drop mom off at home and then take my Dad out for a belated Father's Day.

Should be a jam-packed weekend, but at least the amount of time my mom can bitch at me will be reduced significantly - she can't nag while we're in a theatre. I hope...

I don't really feel like writing, but then, I'm at work and I don't really feel like working either. Hence, a short post.

I'm leaving the office at 3 today so I can get downtown for a 5:00 train. My best friend Bev's grandma died on Sunday, so I'm heading to London for the visitation tonight & funeral tomorrow. I knew her almost as well as I know/knew my own grandmas, so it's been a sad couple of days. For Bev's wedding, she was living out of town at the time, so it was me and Bev's mom over at her grandma's house cutting and wrapping endless pieces of fruitcake. Her grandma was really the nicest lady, and she'll be missed a lot.

What's even sadder is that Grandma G has been taking care of Poppy (Bev's grandpa) for the last year or so, since he's been even sicker than she is. So we all know it's just a matter of time before he just lets go, and I'll be back to London for the second funeral.

I was a bit of a wreck on Monday at work - I just found out about Grandma G late Sunday night, and was a total mess. I don't think my husband's ever really seen me cry (crying during movies doesn't count) and he didn't know what to do with me, especially since she's not even my grandma. But she might as well be my grandma, and it makes it even harder knowing my that my grandma in Saskatchewan isn't well either and it could very easily have been her funeral I'm attending.

Today I'm okay, but I know I'll be a mess when I see Bev tonight at the funeral home. Even though I know the last month has been really awful for Grandma G and she's been in a lot of pain, it just doesn't make it any easier. Bev and I are like sisters - I've known her since we started being baby sat together when I was 6 months old. Our brothers are best friends and her brother participated as one of my 'brothers' in the Indian part of my wedding ceremony. Our parents are friends. Her family is my family, and their loss is my loss. It really hasn't been a good week so far.

So at 3, I leave work, drive home, change, take the subway to Union, catch my train, get picked up at the station by my mom, and head right to the funeral home for visitation. Then tomorrow, I'll go to the funeral on my own, then take a cab to the train station and come back to Toronto to prepare our condo to have my mom up to visit for the weekend.

Anyway, I might not post anything until next week.

If heaven was made of leather

I know that the readers of my blog are all male - and that's because I haven't given my blog address to any of my girlfriends.

So, kind sirs, I'm sorry that this post won't do anything for you at all.

Last night, we went out for dinner with my sister- and brother-in-law, since it was her birthday. We're doing a family celebration on Saturday, but we thought since we live in the same city, we should take her out on the day.

She surprised me with a gift.... a gift of shoes.

A gift of Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

If you've ever heard Carrie Bradshaw on Sex & the City gush about her Manolos or Jimmy Choos, well, these are right up there. My sister-in-law bought them on sale in a size too small because she couldn't just not buy them at all. She's worn them once for about 20 minutes, but because it was agony for her feet (albeit heaven for her outfit), they've been sitting in her closet just dying to be worn.

Unbeknownst to me, about 4 months ago, she decided she should give them to me - my feet are an 8 and would fit the Zanotti's perfectly. It's been a 4 month struggle for her to let go of them, and last night, at the Spring Rolls at Yonge & Bloor, she presented me with the most beautiful pair of shoes I've seen in real life .

Okay, I think I need to clarify. I said she bought them on sale, and I think that statement, with no clarification, belies the true worth of these shoes. She bought them on sale for $550.00, down from $625.00.

$550 for shoes!!!!!

These babies were made by hand in Italy of delicious tan Italian leather. I could eat them. They are the sexiest shoes ever. Last night, my husband had to tell me I couldn't wear them to bed (because of course, when I got home, I had to wear them around the condo and didn't want to take them off). In fact, I'm wearing them now. I'm working from home today and I'm wearing my bathrobe and $550.00 shoes.

I am spoiled rotten by my in-laws. They give me jewellery for every major occasion (for our 1 year anniversary, my mother-in-law gave me a diamond pendant), MAC makeup (my sister-in-law is in the fashion industry, so she gives the fashion week giveaways made for blondes that she gets to me), and now, Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

I love my life.

I'm a jerk.

Ok, I'm a bitch. That last post was totally mean. I should be happy for the couple who did, despite my doom and gloom predictions, make it to the alter on Saturday. And on top of that, it was actually a really nice wedding - tasteful and fun, which is the opposite of what I anticipated. I expected it to be really tacky and boring.... and I'm a jerk.

We were sat at a really great table - we knew one couple well, and then there were two of the bride's cousins and their boyfriends. They were awesome. We had a fantastic time, dinner was great, the DJ played good music, and I'm a jerk. The decorations were pretty and the bride looked beautiful in a very classy gown.

I should not sound surprised by all of this.... but I really am. We know how broke the bride & groom are (they had to each work 2 jobs and save for 3 years to host this wedding for 100 guests - I won't even tell you how much ours cost for 300 guests). We know that their appartment is decorated entirely with teddy bears and beanie babies and that they really wanted to get married at Disney. We know that the bride wears sweaters with puppies on them on a regular basis... so you have to understand how surprised we were to see beautiful flowers, tasteful and flattering bridesmaid dresses, and not a teddy bear in sight. And though we noticed the little ways they saved cashola only because we've been kept apprised of all the planning through one of the bridesmaids (who was also one of our bridesmaids), absolutely nothing looked like they cut corners. I am duly impressed. What they did, they did well. What they didn't do wasn't missed by anyone.

The bride has been really high-maintenance and stressed about really stupid things for 3 years, so the grace she showed when confronted with the inevitable glitches - like their limo breaking down in the church parking lot (one of the bridesmaids' husband's is a mechanic and fixed it right there, in his suit) was truly surprising. We had told her umpteen times, "plan all you can now, but on the day, you just have to let it ride when things go wrong, because they will." To which she responded, "No, they can't go wrong!" She did really well, and thanked those who helped with the glitches gracefully in her speech. She was calm and radiant.

Dinner was delicious, we danced our butts off and stayed until after midnight. And now I wish I had written something nice in the wedding card - but I let my husband take care of it so he probably wrote "congratultions" in illegible handwriting. I feel the need to write them both a heartfelt email saying what a great time we had - I have to make up for all the bitchy things I said before the wedding. I am a jerk, but I've been proven wrong.

Congratulations......?

So I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I truly wonder if the bride and groom will actually make it to the alter. Actually, I wonder if they SHOULD make it to the alter. They have broken up at least 4 times that I know about SINCE THEY'VE BEEN ENGAGED and are on engagement ring #3 - because she keeps throwing them off the balcony when they fight.

Hey, I understand that wedding planning sucks. It can make even the most perfectly matched couple fight like cats and dogs over stupid things (honestly, did I care, REALLY care, if we had 3 indian desserts and only 1 canadian dessert? In the end, did it matter? No. I ate my cake and was perfectly happy, but I argued about it until I was blue in the face... because at the time, it was pretty damn important). But seriously, if breaking up is ever even an option in your mind, then you shouldn't be engaged in the first place. No stupid fight should ever mean so much that you'd break up and throw away the ring. Grow up, or break up. You have to choose.

So ya, if they actually get married tomorrow and make it through the reception, I'll be surprised. I really wonder if they'll make it to their first anniversary without killing each other.

We're giving them a checque (because we know that's what most brides & grooms really want... not the multi-sized colander set they registered for because they felt they should) but you know, we should have thought this through better. If we bought them a gift and they break up on their honeymoon, they'd have to return it. By then, the money will be long gone paying for the reception and three hundred chocolate truffles and centrepieces that everyone wants but nobody knows what to do with when they get it home.

I could actually use a multi-sized colander set.

I wonder if there's still time to pick one up.

The best invention since.... well, ever

We got one on Tuesday, and I love it. Anything that makes my husband get off the couch and away from the computer is aces for me. And it's super fun.

Wow, I feel so 'white trash American'

So the other day after work, against every fibre of by being, I stopped at Wal-Mart to look for a tanktop. I bought a pretty white shirt on Gerrard on Saturday but I need a nude-coloured tank top to wear under it so I don't look like the office tramp when I wear it to work. So, I stopped at Wal-Mart.

I HATE Wal-Mart. It is the devil. Besides the fact that it and all the other 'big box' stores are what's wrong with North America today, I just hate the environment. I don't want to be grocery shopping in a store where people are pushing office furniture around in a cart. I don't want to be looking for a DVD in a store surrounded by families of 7 with a cart full of clothes. I hate it.

My husband and I shop there very VERY rarely and only if we have something very specific we need to pick up, and our rule is to never get a cart. If we are picking up one or two things, fine. But the second you take a cart, you're subjected to the throngs of other people with carts trying to get by because their screeming kids are getting rangy and they still have to buy diapers and want to look at patio furniture and need to pick up a birthday card..... So, no carts.

So anyway, I needed a nude-coloured tank top and stopped at the hub of hell and tried to go straight to the cheap lingerie section. But I got stopped.... by the bagels. My husband was out of bagels, and here they are, at Wal-Mart, not the grocery store. And then, as I continued across the store, I got stopped... in the linens section and bought two anti-allergen pillow protectors, at Wal-Mart, not the home decor place. I hate stores like this, but somehow, despite my best efforts I was sucked in by that horrible thing called "convenience." Finally... I got to the lingerie.

In the end, they didn't have a nude-coloured tank top.... but I ended up buying underwear. From WAL-MART. In a 3 pack.

I have NEVER bought underwear that wasn't carefully selected from La Senza or Victoria's Secret or even Calvin Klein. And I've never EVER bought underwear in a 3 pack before.


It's like in that brief encounter on the way home from work, Wal-Mart somehow transformed me into a white trash American. How the hell did that happen?

Damn you, Wal-Mart. Damn you all to hell.

I feel like I need to dress up and go somewhere fancy to shake off the stank of white trash and get back to my upper-middle class self.