Broken Record

Ok, so at the end of the day today, I was told that of the four communications officers, I'm the only one with a job tomorrow. Our new President took over today and there were budget changes and shifts and such, and my VP pulled me into her office to tell me what was going on, while the other 3 I share(d) an office with cleaned out their desks.

HOLY SHIT.

Of the four of us, I like my job the least, I waste a LOT of time, and I need my job the least. I mean, Ben just told us his wife is pregnant! My manager & VP apparently had no choice though - it came from the top down - they had to pick one of four. I just can't believe I still have a job.

My manager said she knows I haven't been happy in my job (doesn't take a genius to figure that out - just ask me) and she really wants to work through that with me - as she thinks I have the talent and ability they want, and the personality 'fit' is there, too. And she doesn't want to have "shot herself in the foot and wind up with no communications officers at all." So, looks like I can't quit now... crap.I'm really getting tired of having jobs where this happens. That's two in a row where there's been a re-org 6-7 months after I started.

Will I ever have a job where there isn't a re-org at my 6 month mark? Do I just have terrible luck or am I drawn to these jobs? It's getting a little tiring, honestly. I spend my first 6 months learning what the heck I'm supposed to be doing and then everything changes so dramatically. Not only that, but this is twice in a row that I'm a 'survivor' whether I like it or not. Do I just have 'resilient' written on my face? Because I truly question if I'm really that talented. I'm fine at what I do, but I'm certainly not a model employee in terms of either work ethic or demeanor. I've been told straight out that I'm 'cavalier'. I make it known when I'm unhappy or when I disagree with something - and I do both of these things frequently.

So, why was I chosen to stay over three other extremely talented people, who, from my view, are capable, willing, and truly need the job more than I do? I mean, Ben does anything he's asked to do without question, without talking back or grumbling, and from what I can see, he never procrastinates. I spend so much time on Wikipedia, I should totally be called out on it.

I am Peter Gibbons.

You're laying off Samir and Michael, and you're promoting me? So here's the challenge: As of tomorrow, I have a totally new job. Well, not totally - just more of it, I guess. And do I want it? Boss2 acknowledged that I haven't been happy in my job. It's well known (it wouldn't take a super sleuth to figure it out - all you have to do is ask me). So, now what? I don't hate the people at Job2 and I don't want Boss2 to be left without a communicator. But, can I actually be happy there? If I really work at it, can I apply myself, suck it up and be happy? I just don't know.

This should have, from the view of my managers, served as a wake up call for me. Work hard and quit being the cog, the fly in the ointment, or we'll do the same to you. But I know they're not like that. Boss2 was visibly upset. She didn't want this. So, as she said, maybe this puts me in a better bargaining position?

I guess I really need to decide why I'm unhappy and see if I can use this opportunity to fix it so I have a job I actually like. If that's even possible.

One year later
Same position
Different job.